


friday nights are not the same (as they used to be)

by excuezme



Series: the lore of wonston chortle [2]
Category: Dunkirk (2017)
Genre: How Do I Tag, I Can't Believe I Wrote This, I Don't Even Know, I Wrote This Instead of Sleeping, I'm Going to Hell, I'm really sorry, M/M, What Have I Done, What Was I Thinking?, Why Did I Write This?, and i can blame wonston chortle for these ideas, author rants in the tags for some reason, i blame wonston chortle, im sorry, thanks wonston chortle, this was unprompted but i wanted to write nonsense
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-02-26
Updated: 2019-02-26
Packaged: 2019-11-06 02:21:29
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,181
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17930987
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/excuezme/pseuds/excuezme
Summary: it all started in the summer of '69, ironically. it was one time. one fucking time. the friday nights were not supposed to be this way. you would think that they partied too hard on friday nights that led to the noise complaints. but no, this was so much worse...





	friday nights are not the same (as they used to be)

**Author's Note:**

> there's some collins/gibby action going on in crack!nsfw currently, and i got motivated to write from there. anyway, thanks qat and brooke you know what's coming.

it was that one summer in '69 that they decided to make friday nights a tradition. the whole neighbourhood hadn't had peace since then. you would see the neighbours packing up and going to their relative's places for the weekend. some, more nosy neighbours saw these nights as free!porn, got their popcorn or nachos ready with cans of pepsi or gatorade.

it was Collins' idea. he was the one to propose this idea to the group of flaming hot homosexuals, who immediately accepted it. now you could hear them getting dicked down every friday, for free! because who should be bothered to close the curtains, amirite? they would put bets on who had the loudest bottom and shit, whoever lost had to do something ridiculous for the rest of the week. "it's a tradition" they said. "it'll be fun!" they said. 

when they had just started, the neighbours would complain of the loud fucken noises, because by god, these twinks were loud. they tolerated it for one, two, three, four weeks, then susan the wealthy widow finally had enough, and banged on their door, to be greeted by a very disgruntled philippe, glaring at her in french, dripping with sweat, while the other two were getting on with it in the back on the couch. 

"oui?" he said out of breath, very clearly annoyed. susan the wealthy widow took in the scene that was unfolding behind him, and the sight of the man in front of her.

"quoi?" he said, louder. 

"just, uh,,,,, just try t keep it down, will you?"

"fuck off" and with that he slammed the door on her face, leaving her stunned, and scarred, to say the least. she knew they were banging, but they were  _banging._ as she turned around to go, she ran into Alex, quite literally as well, and screamed. he screamed back. she screamed louder. he screamed  _louder_ to assert dominance. 

the screaming in the hallway finally subsided when henry the alcoholic came out of his room and slapped both of them back to their senses.

"fucks wrong with you?! screamin like a couple o hyenas!"

"sorry, but don't those noises bother you?" susan the wealthy widow said 

"they don't, i just take off my hearing aids" Alex and her sighed together, and henry went back to his room.

"that's it. they won't let me bang i'm callin the cops" alex said. 

soon the cops were, there, banging on the door, yet again, which was opened by a very disheveled and disgruntled, stark naked gibby, yet again. 

"can you keep it down, please?" one of the officers said. 

"sacre bleu!" gibby said, and grabbed a baguette from the table beside him. the officers looked at him confused, and then at each other. he unsheathed the baguette to reveal a sword. the officers froze.

cut to gibby chasing down the cops naked, wielding a sword, which has half a baguette as a handle, shouting in french as the cops take off in their car, sirens blaring. 

that was the first and only time they tried calling the cops on them. the cops went back there, the next friday night to see if it was a weekly thing which it indeed was. the first two thought that they were not the only ones who deserved to experience the true wraith of the french, and so decided to take one other with them, every week, just for entertainment. it became a tradition at the local police station as well. they would send a new recruit there, as a sort of welcome/initiation. because if you experienced that, you had seen everything, and it truly was the most terrifying experience of one's life.

sometimes it would be gibby chasing officers down in angry, incoherent french, sometimes it would be collins, yelling in Gaelic, or sometimes it would be one of the english lads yelling in what could barely pass as english. 

one time as a new recruit was being chased down, Alex also came out running on almost all fours, begging them to arrest him "they never let me fuck" he sobbed.

finally, they let him watch them, maybe even get a snack. he learnt to make his peace with it, it was the most that he could do. 

he would just stand in the doorway, saying shit like "yeah gibby, raw him, mate yeeeeaaahhhhhhh"

"shut yon fucketh mouth, alex"

peter and george were too soft for all the hard fucking, they just made out for half an hour. once, Alex joined them and they discussed what to do. of course, the bet was who's bottom was the loudest, this time they decided to join in. they looked at each other, then at alex. they then nodded. 

soon alex was on the floor, groaning and moaning, as he repeatedly got kicked in the balls. 

that night, alex george and peter won. 

soon after peter and george moved out. no one noticed.

alex stayed there, he used to roam around here and there sticking where the most action was unfolding. he used to make snarky remarks, witty comments, critique their banging, whatnot, just to irritate them. 

then one day, gibson snapped.

while he was plowing mercilessly into tommy, making the lad gasp for air, and alex tried to be a smartass. gibson shoved tommy down on the mattress, "stay" he commanded. then, walked upto Alex and punched him in the gut, before roughly pulling him in by the collar and tearing the clothes from him one by one. his time had come. he had waited so long to be fucked like this, to be manhandled like this. and this is how everyone found out that alex had a pain kink.

the next morning was all awkward silence and glances over teacups. Collins tried making a smartass comment, but got kicked under the table by his top. philippe got an air of what Collins said, and said something in french, in a tone that screamed "you ain't shit". Collins didn't know what the frenchman said, but it made him sufficiently pissed. 

"what did yae say tae me ya jabby wee cunt?"

"J’ai dit que tu étais une petite salope pleurnicharde" (i said you're a whiny little bitch) 

"tha thu airson a bhith a 'feuchainn rium?" (you wanna try me, you fuckin rat?)

"oh my god what are they saying" Tommy said slightly frightened

"i don't think i want to find out" Farrier replied. the two started yelling at each other in rapid-fire french and gaelic, the other two had no choice but to tune them out. 

"more tea?" Tommy asked 

"yes please"

"so, how's everything?"

"it's going good, yeah good" 

the two continued talking, as collins and gibson went off in another room, still cussing each other out in their native languages. 

the cussing had slowly subsided, but was now replaced with the sounds of heavy breathing and groaning.  _oh my god they're at it_ tommy thought. and sure enough, when him and Farrier went to check up on them, collins was being rage fucked against the wall. 

 

**Author's Note:**

> sorry daddy i have been naughty uwu  
> i have sinned. if this fic doesn't get me banned from everywhere the above sentence definitely will. i hate this with every fibre of my being but please leave a kudos and a comment i wrote this instead of my english assignment due tomorrow


End file.
